


Only Lie When Necessary

by oldmoviewatcher



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: F/M, What's Up Doc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-21 03:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12448599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldmoviewatcher/pseuds/oldmoviewatcher
Summary: Margaret stares in horror at the letter she finds in her hand. A married General and former lover of hers is coming to visit and thinks he can rekindle something from almost ten years ago during the Second World War. Seeing him she introduces, "General, this is my boyfriend, Hawkeye Pierce. Hawkeye, this is General Roger Klemson."





	1. Chapter 1

Margaret stares in horror at the letter she finds in her hand. A married General and former lover of hers is coming to visit and thinks he can rekindle something from almost ten years ago during the Second World War. Upset, the nurse turns on her heels to make a call into ICORP. Her only mistake is turning directly and gracelessly into the arms of a certain black haired Chief Surgeon.

"Well, hello, Margaret. What a nice surprise," Hawkeye flirts. He smirks at her scowl.

"You creep!" She exclaims before stomping off. Treating wounded that morning, Margaret soon comes up with a plan to ignore the general coming in. As long as no one knows who her former flame is, she will be fine. However, everyone is aware once Colonel Potter announces General Klemson's visit to both Margaret and the head surgeons in his office after surgery.

"Do you know him, Margaret?" Potter asks, "I was hoping he could get a tour of the place."

Shaking her head, Margaret lies, "I barely know him."

"Oh well! I'll ask Klinger. Have a nice lunch you three. The General arrives at 1800."

Hawkeye and B.J. happily exit the office as Margaret and Charles follow behind. Now that the Captains and other Major know about General Klemson, the head nurse knows she will not be able to ignore him. Unable to form an actual plan due to triage, Margaret comes out of surgery to find a jeep pulling up. Realizing she stands in the way of her former lover, Margaret greets him before seeing a certain dark haired surgeon and calling him over.

"Hawkeye! General, this is my boyfriend, Hawkeye Pierce. Hawkeye, this is General Roger Klemson."

"Nice to meet you," Hawkeye greets with an easy smile even if he is baffled by what transpires. However, always eager to crack a joke, the surgeon asks, "How long have you known Marge?"

"A little over ten years. You?" General Klemson remarks unaware of the side eye Margaret gives Hawkeye at calling her Marge.

"Met here almost two years ago," Hawkeye comments. With a grin he adds, "You could say it was fate."

Surprised by his actions, the Chief Surgeon notices himself instinctively put his arm around his friend as the new general tries to charm her before Klinger comes by separating the friends. Their accidental affair in the abandoned hut leaves both Hawkeye and Margaret a little wary of the other. However Hawkeye needs to know what her charade is, especially if they are supposedly a couple.

"Margaret, what was that?" Hawkeye questions as he follows his friend's line of sight once Klinger leads the general away on a tour. Dismissing the implication that Hawkeye is not wrong about, Margaret answers nonchalantly, "General Klemson."

"What not who," Hawkeye states wondering what Margaret is hiding. She looks around the compound before motioning the surgeon to follow her to her tent. Once inside Margaret lets the door shut before speaking freely.

"Roger, General Klemson, was an old flame of mine during the war. It began and ended during my stint in a MASH in France," she remarks bitterly causing Hawkeye to wordlessly plead for a better answer. Margaret hands Hawkeye her letter and continues, "One of the nurses he was with got pregnant, and he had to marry her. I left two weeks later for another unit. He thinks he can pick up like old times, but I'm not that person!"

"So, you decided to pretend I was your boyfriend so he would leave you alone?" Hawkeye asks as he digests the information. Margaret nods. Reading through the letter one more time, Hawkeye begins to understand why she dislikes his wilder ways. He soon realizes that she may sleep with a lot of men, but does not play the field like he does. Still confused due to her disliking his womanizing, Hawkeye soon questions why she picks him.

"What?"

"Why did you pick me?" Hawkeye reiterates, "From what I can tell, I'm no better than Klemson over there."

Margaret shakes her head. She will not tell him that he is her first choice in this ruse. He may be like Klemson in his womanizing, but unlike General Klemson, Hawkeye has some scruples of morality and is willing to help others even after their affair. Instead of telling her friend this, Margaret settles for a half truth.

"I can't ask anyone else here. B.J. is married, and Charles is–"

"Charles?" Hawkeye answers when he notices his friend failing to come up with an apt description. He forgoes teasing her tonight wanting to put his best foot forward. For all her talk, Hawkeye knows Margaret is a little insecure, especially after Donald's cheating on her. He almost turns to leave, but asks, "How long do you want to keep this up?"

Margaret wants to say until the war ends, but replies, "Just until Klemson is gone. Would you mind not telling anyone except maybe B.J. about this? I'd rather the whole camp treat us normally."

"Until they can't?" Hawkeye remarks causing a hint of a smile to grace his friend's lips as she repeats, "Until they can't."

Nodding, the head surgeon bids his pretend girlfriend a good-bye before walking toward The Swamp. He figures they will see each other during dinner, but decides to tell B.J. who can divert suspicion elsewhere. However, entering his tent, Hawkeye can see Charles half asleep in the corner. With a sigh, Hawkeye just manages to tell his friend before they enter the Mess Tent, "Whatever you see between me and Margaret tonight is a ruse. Just divert questioning, okay?"

Ever the loyal friend, B.J. agrees, but is rather curious for the full story the rest of the night.

"Did you notice the Major and the Captain sitting awfully close there?" Klinger asks B.J. as they sit in the Officer's Club after a grueling surgery session the next day. B.J. looks over at his friends before smirking and interrupting their discussion.

"How are we tonight?" B.J. questions as he sits beside his friends still unsure what they are doing. Asking for an explaination, he notices the chief surgeon and head nurse share a glance before agreeing to tell him.

"See the new general? Thinks he can see Margaret after ten years and date her again," Hawkeye remarks. Margaret merely studies her drink knowing B.J. will have to have the full story eventually.

"So, you're acting as body guard," B.J. remarks. His friend shrugs adding, "Or boyfriend in this case. Just for the week though."

"Or until Klemson is gone," Margaret chimes in as she asks B.J. not to say anything to anyone else. The newer camp surgeon shrugs adding, "Why not? It's not every day you get to see two of your best friends together."

With a pointed look from the head nurse, B.J. smiles explaining, "Just teasing. Mum's the word. Carry on!"

The next day, Hawkeye barely knocks on Margaret's tent door before barging in exclaiming, "Honey, I'm home!"

He smirks as Magaret jumps a bit. Putting her letter down, the blonde whispers, "What are you doing here?"

"Can't a woman's pretend boyfriend come in and surprise her?" Hawkeye remarks sitting down on his friend's cot. Part of her wonders if she makes the wrong choice, but noticing the keen look he gives her, Margaret lets her defenses fall as she asks, "Are you okay?"

"What's the full story, Margaret? Between you and General Klemson?"

Knowing he is merely asking as a friend, Margaret sighs.

"I was hoping to never tell anyone, but General Klemson was how I earned my nickname," She states wondering how the entirety of the U.S. Army can still use a nickname from ten years ago, but be unaware of the fact she is married. Eyes wide, Hawkeye asks, "Klemson? I thought you earned 'Hot Lips' here?"

Margaret shakes her head. After a pause, she apprehensively states, "I got a letter from Donald. He wants to 'settle everything'."

"Are you going to?" Hawkeye asks as he toes off his boots and reclines on her cot. She pretends not to notice and answers half-heartedly, "I don't know."

Noticing her look of defeat, Hawkeye wants to find his friend's good for nothing husband and punch him, but settles for motioning her to him. Against her better judgement, the blonde rises from her chair and walks over to her bed. Snuggling beside the man who only a week ago she has an affair with, Margaret realizes she finds not only comfort being near him but also solace in confiding in him over more of her problems. Something neither of them feels possible until after their trip to the 8063rd. With familiar activity of the camp, and lack of sleep, both doctor and nurse fall asleep. After what only feels like minutes, they wake up to a knock on the tent door. Startled awake, the Major quickly wakes Hawkeye and orders him to the skinny, upright locker in the corner of her tent. Still groggy, Hawkeye stumbles into the locker amazed that he can actually fit.

"Mail!" Klinger exclaims happily once the nurse opens her tent door. Aware of her attire, Margaret self consciously takes her letter. Seeing the return address is from her husband, she angrily tears it open. Realizing he and Margaret are alone again, he exits the locker closet that he is currently inside, Hawkeye watches Margaret read her letter and cry out, "That rat!"

"What?"

"He's demanding I meet him in three days to discuss things."

"Discussion is good," Hawkeye points out. Shaking her head, Margaret spits, "Not with Donald. I'm surprised he hasn't run away yet."

"Who knows, it could be the start of something good," Hawkeye encourages as he mentally kicks himself for helping instead of hindering. Secretly, he wants the divorce. Margaret is too good for the likes of Donald Penobscott.

"Wounded!" The loudspeaker announces causing the pair to look at each other in exhaustion.

"It's only been ten hours," Hawkeye grouses as Margaret leads him out her tent door.

Still plagued by Major Klemson who is supervising them for the afternoon, the head nurse and surgeon try to tag team as much as possible. Unfortunately, she finds herself pairing with Charles toward what they think is the end of their shift. Never an issue before, Margaret finds herself slipping a little with General Klemson standing near her.

"Margaret, can you come over here a minute?" Hawkeye asks while he is wrist deep in sewing muscle. "I need you to hold back this flesh for me. Nurse Able is helping with the less wounded."

Thankful to escape close proximity of her old flame, Margaret complies.

"Is he bothering you?" Hawkeye questions feeling some sort of protective nature over his friend. Margaret shakes her head.

"I can handle it."

"I know, but I want to help if you need it," Hawkeye offers. He can see her eyes betray a smile behind her mask as she whispers, "Thank- you, but no. He leaves tomorrow."

Hawkeye processes her words before flirting, "What are you doing later?"

"Sleeping, hopefully."

"Need some company? I've been known to be a very calming presence," Hawkeye grins as he sews the last bit of muscle. Brushing his hand as she takes the scissors, Margaret glances up at the surgeon in silent confirmation. In all the times she needs it, he is a very calming force. She sees the way his eyes crinkle which lets her know he understands.

"More wounded!" Klinger calls out causing the camp to groan.

"I just finished this guy up, Margaret will you close, and I'll get new gloves. Klinger, where do you want me?" Hawkeye asks as a nurse re-gloves his hands.

The rest of the session lasts well past midnight. Straggling out of OR, all the officers and enlisted are ready to fall asleep. Hawkeye barely registers his bunk mates passing him on the way out. Scrubbing his hands off one last time, the surgeon hears yelling coming from just outside the operating room. Always curious, Hawkeye investigates only to find Margaret being grabbed by the arm. Jumping in to save her, Hawkeye sees Klemson quickly let go.

"You know it should have been me!" Klemson murmurs before leaving the room. A look of confusion passes over Margaret's face as she replays the altercation in her head.

"Margaret, are you okay?" Hawkeye asks bringing the woman out of her thoughts. Nodding, Margaret reassures her friend that Klemson only grabs her arm.

"I was trying to leave, but then he kept saying that I was the one who got away. Me? A woman he cheated on? He kept trying to explain how he and Marlene, his wife, are getting a divorce, but all he sees is a woman from ten years ago," Margaret whispers wondering how he can hold on for so long to a fling. Looking into her friend's caring eyes, she states, "I'm not that girl anymore."

Tucking a strand of hair from her face, Hawkeye replies, "I know. Let's get you to bed. No one is thinking straight right now."

Walking the head nurse back to her tent, Hawkeye makes sure no one is around before he asks, "Do you want me to stay here? In case he comes back?"

Margaret shakes her head, but thanks him for his offer.

"I'll be fine tonight. Go back to your tent."

Hawkeye nods before heading to bed. Opening the tent door, Hawkeye hears B.J. tease, "About time you joined us."

"Yeah, I had to walk Margaret back to her tent," Hawkeye answers as he sits on his cot and takes off his shoes.

"If no one knew you Pierce, they'd say you liked The Major more than you think," Charles remarks as he crawls into his bed. Instead of replying, Hawkeye fluffs his pillow before falling asleep. By the next morning, Colonel Potter sees General Klemson off with Hawkeye, B.J., and Margaret just in eyesight of the general. Margaret glares at him as Hawkeye gives him a mock salute. General Klemson makes sure to divert his eyes knowing Margaret and her boyfriend are angry at him. Just to irk him more, Hawkeye places his arm around the Major in a show of affection.

"Looks like we can stop the charade now," Hawkeye comments taking his arm off her shoulder as General Klemson rides out of the camp. Margaret nods a little sad that they have to part. However, still being married poses bigger problems for her in the future.

Letting things settle back to normal, everyone remembers that Hawkeye is still his normal, womanizing self. One day after the camp settles down to decompress from the day's OR session, Margaret goes searching for Hawkeye. Finding him sitting outside his tent with B.J., the blonde motions him to a private conversation behind the tent.

"I got it approved, the three day pass. Donald and I can officially patch things up," Margaret states. He smiles at her even though he is unable to comprehend her need to repair her marriage when the man she is married to is a scumbag. But, he is happy for her, as long as she is happy. Congratulating her, he receives an uncharacteristic hug.

However, four days later, the camp is met with a morose, angry Margaret who seeks seclusion. Noting the change, Hawkeye knocks on his friend's tent door. Her eyes are red as she opens the door, but she clings to Hawkeye like a lifeline once he walks inside.

"Hey, what happened?"

"Nothing," She mumbles. Confused, Hawkeye parrots her words.

"Everything," She adds letting go. After a moment Margaret finally explains that Donald's version of patching everything up is trying to seduce her. Angry again, she roars, "How can he think he can work on our problems that way?"

"That is his way of working on problems, Margaret," Hawkeye explains gently. The head surgeon is just as angry as Margaret, but figures playing Devil's Advocate will help her see her husband's flaws. Margaret purses her lips in anger. She can barely speak as she concludes that Hawkeye is right. Donald tries to fix things by avoiding them.

"I just thought it would be different this time. Why?" She asks softly more to herself than Hawkeye. Shaking his head, the head surgeon replies, "I don't know."

After a moment, Margaret apologizes for her outbursts.

"Hey, don't be sorry. I'm here whenever you need it," Hawkeye replies before giving her his signature smile. Against her wishes, Margaret smiles.

"Thank- you," She whispers.

"Any time," He answers before leaving her to her thoughts.

A little over a month later, the camp returns to normal. Margaret goes back to her bossy self, yet is more overbearing on her nurses than usual during one of their surgeries. Once everyone is getting out of their scrubs, Hawkeye notices Margaret struggling to untie the knot in her surgical mask.

"'Oh, Margaret, let me give you a hand'," He begins. As he helps her, the head surgeon notices how tight the knot is.

"'This may take a minute'," Hawkeye remarks before he quips, "'I'm used to doing this in the dark.'"

"'Go away'," She complains. Continuing to undo her surgical mask, Hawkeye reassures, "'Don't panic. I'll have you out of there in no time.'"

"'I just wish you people would leave me alone!'" Margaret exclaims wanting to simply be left alone with her thoughts.

"'Oh, yeah? Like the way you left Nurse Bell alone?'" The head surgeon presses.

"'I was doing my job!'" She snaps as she turns to look at him.

"'You never fall on a nurse that hard for such a nitpicky mistake. You're too good for that. What's eating you?'" Hawkeye begins wanting to help his friend.

"'Nothing!'" She demands unsure if she can even tell him her suspicions.

"'Come on. If you can't tell your number one nemesis, who can you tell?'" Hawkeye teases knowing they are not nemesis anymore.

"'I can't. Can't even imagine that it's true'," She says to herself more than her friend. Interested, the head surgeon asks, "'What's true?'"

"'Would you lower your voice?'" She hisses not wanting anyone else to know.

"'Is this low enough? I'm sorry. I'm using my larynx as a subway station. What is it?'" Hawkeye questions.

"'Well, I was with Donald about six weeks ago in Tokyo, and -'" She starts before losing her nerve.

"'Yeah?'" Hawkeye asks. Trying to tell him let alone herself, the blonde begins, "'Well, I think -'"

"'What?'" Hawkeye asks curious.

"'I'm pretty sure that I'm pregnant'," Margaret finally admits.

"'Pregnant?'" Hawkeye asks excitedly while Margaret shushes him as he asks for clarification, "'You mean with child?'"

She shushes him again as her friend keeps speaking.

"'Expecting? Our little major is gonna have a minor? That's wonderful!'" He exclaims before apologizing for raising his voice.

"'There's nothing wonderful about it'," The head nurse grumbles.

"'Are you kidding?'" Hawkeye asks, "'All we see around here is death and destruction. Now, in the middle of an inferno that even Dante wouldn't buy tickets to there's a little glimmer of life thanks to you. That's not wonderful. That's a miracle.'"

"'You know Donald and I are having problems. This isn't gonna solve them. It's only gonna add to them. And you know what it means, don't you? Automatic discharge. My whole army career, kaput! It's all Donald's fault'," Margaret complains, even though she is unsure if the child is really Donald's. However, she is not going to tell Hawkeye her suspicion, especially if the test turns out to be false.

"'Well, I wouldn't put it all on Donald. I mean, you were probably there at the time. What made you so sure?'" The surgeon questions wondering if she is misdiagnosing herself.

"'I have all the symptoms - morning sickness, nausea'," Margaret begins as Hawkeye remarks, "'We all have that from the Mess Tent takeout window.'"

"'There's more'," She continues. "'I've been irritable lately.'"

"'Well, if you count irritability you've been pregnant since I've known you'," Hawkeye teases as Margaret rolls her eyes and whispers, "'Captain, that time of the month hasn't been that time of the month yet. And that was last month.'"

"'Maybe your watch stopped," Hawkeye jokes before he asks, "'Have you verified this medically?'"

"'Well, no lab tests'," Margaret admits. She can see the glimmer in his eyes as if the child is actually his before Hawkeye states, "'Well, then what are you guessing for? Why don't we go see Colonel Potter and set up a test?'"

Finally able to test the results a few days later, Hawkeye and Margaret enter the desolate OR. Knowing they only have a few minutes left, the head surgeon and head nurse are in shock when a hostage situation occurs in front of them, and a little too close to their lab results. After the situation is dissolved with a merry-go-round of negotiation, Hawkeye and Margaret get back to their results.

"That's one way to spend five minutes," The head surgeon jokes as he sits in front of the microscope. Focusing the projector on the slide, Hawkeye exclaims, "'This is incredible.'"

Eager to know, Margaret asks, "'What? What?'"

"'I never knew my thumb was this big'," He jokes. Unamused, Margaret asks, "'Oh, will you cut it out?'"

Serious again, Hawkeye answers, "'All right. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. There.'"

"'What?'" Margaret asks.

Ever the dramatic one, Hawkeye teases, "'And the winner is -'"

"'Pierce!'" The head nurse whines. Knowing she wants her answers, Hawkeye finally replies, "'Negative.'"

Margaret parrots his word before Hawkeye reiterates, "'Negative. Congratulations. You're still a major, Major.'"

Released from her anxiousness, Margaret replies, "'Yeah. I guess I still am. Thank you. Thank you very much.'"

Although her words are thankful, the head nurse is a little upset. She is happy she is not going to be a mother any time soon, especially with her current marital problems. But, with an off chance that the child not to be is Hawkeye's?

"'I'm glad it turned out the way you wanted it to'," Hawkeye tells her even though he is a little sad himself. He is not dumb and knows there is a possibility that the hypothetical child is his.

"'So am I. I'm also sorry.'"

Later that night, Margaret sits in her tent with her diary. She knows it is a little childish to keep the work, but it is a comfort to her, especially as regular army. As she begins her entry, Margaret hears a knock on her tent door.

"Come in," She calls out before hiding her diary from whoever enters. Seeing Hawkeye come in, she cocks her head to the side.

"I came to see if you were okay," Hawkeye explains. His friend sighs before truthfully answering, "I'm fine. It's a good thing it didn't happen. Who knows what would have happened if it had been positive."

"You'd have gotten what you wanted."

Margaret shakes her head answering, "I would've been trapped in a loveless marriage with a child who would grow up to resent us."

"You could always divorce him," Hawkeye replies offhandedly. A small smirk appears on her face as the head nurse replies, "I'll keep that in mind. Thank- you, Hawkeye."

"Anything I can do to help," He states before heading off to his tent. Halfway back, Hawkeye turns around realizing he has one other question. Re-entering Margaret's tent, Hawkeye asks before he can stop himself, "Why didn't you tell me it could be mine?"

Seeing her startled reaction, Hawkeye lowers his tone and calmly asks his question again. Margaret waits a moment before whispering, "I didn't want to hurt you. If it turned out false, or if it were actually Donald's? This is not a movie, Pierce. The pieces aren't just going to fall into place. Besides, it was negative, like you said."

She wants him to let go. She wants to let go, but has to ask him, "How did you figure it out? That my pregnancy scare could have been yours?"

"I can do the math. It was only a week and a half after we went to the 8063rd that you went to see Donald."

Sighing, Margaret replies, "A lot happened in that week."

"Yeah, I became your boyfriend," Hawkeye jokes. Realizing she never thanks him for helping her, Margaret extends her thanks to him.

"I'd do it again. Anytime you need a fake boyfriend, just call," The head surgeon smirks. The blonde shakes her head at his humor. Staring up at her friend, Margaret states, "I need to tell you why I chose you as my boyfriend."

"Chose me? Do tell!" Hawkeye replies as he sits down on her bed slightly eager to hear her story.

"To be honest, you weren't my first choice. You were my only choice. I can trust you, and you've been there for me," She begins. "Especially after Darlene."

Hawkeye begins to interrupt her as Margaret explains that she knows he is a womanizer, but adds, "You have something neither Donald nor Roger have. Compassion, morals, selflessness. I trust you Hawkeye, and I'm beginning to see that the men in my life so far, I can't trust. You are the exception."

Hawkeye takes in his friends words. Sincerely, he replies, "Thank- you, Margaret."


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks later, Margaret finds out she and Hawkeye are on duty together. Not being able to confide in him after he goes to the 8063rd, she finally finds her chance.  
"Doctor," The nurse courteously supplies, "Could I have a word with you in here?"  
Wondering what is happening, Hawkeye agrees.  
"You lied to me," Margaret hisses dragging her confused friend into the x-ray lab. "You told me the results were negative."  
"Results?" Hawkeye replies trying to catch up. Realizing what she is talking about, Hawkeye replies, "They were! Why would I lie to you about that?"   
Margaret opens her mouth to speak knowing she butchers the beginning of her speech, but Hawkeye cuts her off.  
"You looked at the results, too. Clearly you weren't pregnant."  
"But, I am!" The nurse complains.  
Deciding to placate his friend, Hawkeye states, "It's been a few weeks from then, why don't you get a physical exam, and know for sure."  
"While you were gone to the 8063rd I realized that Donald and I shouldn't be married. The next week I drew up divorce papers in Seoul and then got a routine exam," She admits as a few tears fall down her face. "I got a letter yesterday congratulating me on my pregnancy. I even had Radar call the office in Seoul, and they confirmed it again."   
Hawkeye hugs his friend tightly wondering how the test he performs is a dud, but knows there is always a realm of error. After a moment, he asks, "You're divorcing him?"  
"I'm not sure now," She whispers knowing there is a good chance the child is Donald's. Their conversation ends when they hear a noise come from Post Op.   
Once relieved at around four a.m., Margaret asks Hawkeye to come back to her tent with her to talk more. Knowing he cannot sleep tonight, he agrees.  
"What if I don't divorce him?" Margaret remarks as she sits with her friend on her cot. He is happy to be her sounding board, but wishes she will make up her mind. They have been over this dilemma for an hour.  
"Then you will not be socially scandalized," Hawkeye states as he sits back on the bed. After a moment, he asks, "You're sure you're pregnant?"  
"I have the results," She states as she gets up and goes to her dressing table. Handing him the results, Margaret watches Hawkeye gingerly open the envelope.  
After studying the papers, the surgeon asks, "By now, you'd be what? Ten weeks along?"  
"Or more," Margaret mumbles. "I just wish this wasn't so complicated."  
"So get him to sign the papers," Hawkeye replies not understanding her waffling. "How long do you think you can hide this?"   
"Until I can't," Margaret replies defensively. With the summer coming, she is a little aprehensive about how long she can hide her pregnancy, "By Fall I'll probably turn in my resignation."  
"And go where?" Hawkeye asks confused by her reasoning. Shaking her head, Margaret reluctantly replies that she is unsure. Silently, she crawls into bed and revels in Hawkeye's arms around her as she sleeps.  
Two weeks later, Margaret finds herself angrily kicking cans around the compound. On top of being almost four months pregnant and slightly hysterical, she finds out her husband runs off on her to California.  
"'Outta my way, Pierce'," The nurse shouts as he interrupts her pity party. "'I'm gonna kick every can in this camp!'"  
Still angry about not being able to get out of the army, Hawkeye throws his own misery into the ring by exclaiming, "'Hey, hey! I don't know what set you off, but I'm not in the mood!'"   
"'Of course not'," Margaret scoffs. "'It means nothing to you that my husband got himself transferred back to San Francisco for good!'"   
"'Margaret, they changed the rules on us again!'" Hawkeye states trying to push her anger aside. Disregarding his comment, Margaret exclaims, "'He ran out on me!'"   
Still on his tirade, Hawkeye grouses, "'We'll be here forever! We'll be here longer than forever!'"   
Quickly, Hawkeye registers Margaret's words. Officialy concerned for his friend, the surgeon lowers his tone asking, "'What do you mean he ran out on you?'"   
"'He lied to me. He kept saying we could work things out. And then to prove it, he went sneaking off. He couldn't even face me, the dirty, miserable weasel!'"  
By now she is crying and wants nothing more than to crawl into her tent instead of displaying her tears in public.   
"'What are you going to do?'" He asks. Decidedly, Margaret answers that she will officially get her divorce.   
Shocked, Hawkeye consoles, "'Margaret, I'm sorry.'"  
"'It's my fault. Look at the place I picked to have a marriage!'" The woman sobs. Quickly, Margaret looks up at her friend as he begins a very Hawkeye like declaration. She only begins to listen clearly when he declares, "'This has gotta stop. This has gotta stop right now. Today. This minute!'"   
Confused, Margaret asks as the surgeon walks off, "'What are you doing? Where are you going?'"   
"'I'm going to Panmunjom.'"  
"'What?'"Margaret asks in disbelief. Hawkeye walks toward a nearby jeep while he replies, "'I'm going to the peace talks.  
"'The peace talks? Why?'" Margaret asks missing his other recent outburst in Colonel Potter's office.  
Hawkeye starts the engine to the jeep he confiscates before yelling, "'To stop the war!'"   
"'You can't do that! Are you crazy?'" Margaret cries out. She watches the jeep drive away, and goes into Army mode. Charging for the CO's office, the nurse reports Hawkeye's stealing the jeep. Colonel Potter merely yells in anger before B.J. calmly asks, "Why don't we just give him what he wants here?"  
Everyone in the room stares at the ridiculously mustached surgeon before he explains, "Yeah. We can paint the army red, like he wants."   
Coming back to the camp later that day, Hawkeye is surprised by its emptyness. Near the mess tent, he calls out, "'Yoo-hoo! I'm home! Yoo-hoo! I'm home!'"   
"'Howdy, stranger. New in town?'" His bunk mate asks. Amazed at his friend's appearance, Hawkeye replies, "'Beej, is that you?'"   
Grinning, B.J. questions how he likes the all red outfit and hair. Still confused by what is happening, Hawkeye asks what B.J. is doing.   
"'Waiting for their peace delegate, of course. If you'll follow me'," B.J. replies as Hawkeye questions, "'What's with the Red Skelton look?'"   
"'What red? It's not red. It's anti-green. You wanted things rosy and cheery, so we're making you a little present'," B.J. explains as he leads him into a mess tent disguised as a classy lounge bar if the music is any indication. The mustached man continues, "'In your honor, we've designed a new uniform right down to the hair.'"  
There are soon cheers welcoming him back as well as laughter mixed in. Suddenly, he finds himself doused in red dye as well. Officially joining the Red Party as he dubs it in honor of McCarthy, Hawkeye is given a drink and the entire room is alive with excitement. Eventually Hawkeye leaves a drunk Charles and calls out, "'Margaret!'"   
"'Welcome home, you crazy galoot!'" She exclaims as Hawkeye praises, "'I did it! I told them all! You should have seen me. I was terrific.'"  
Stepping away from a bit of the crowd, the surgeon tells Margaret, "'Hey, listen, about your divorce, if there's anything I can do to help'?"  
"'Best thing that ever happened to me'," The woman assures him. "'The weight of the world is off my shoulders. I feel like a new woman! It's all coming back the spirit, the confidence.'"  
"'Oh, that's great! That's fantastic. That's just what I wanted to hear. I'm proud of you, Margaret.'"  
He is, and just wishes she can keep the confindence she currently exudes. Instead of staying sentimental, Hawkeye and Margaret easily return to the intoxicating celebration. However, all happiness ebbs when an interloper comes in looking for Pierce. Thankfully with the help of his friends and the rest of the camp, no charges are pressed and the vistor happily joins their party. While B.J. and the Colonel take their visitor to the punch bowl, Hawkeye steps up behind Margaret.   
"You look good in red," Hawkeye whispers in the nurse's ear causing her to smile. He may not be going home, but he realizes he has a great support system in the camp. One of those people is currently in his arms. Smiling, Hawkeye looks carefully at Margaret. Somehow, she is still able to wear a dress he only sees her wear once before, but finds she fills it out more than usual. Knowing they are the only two who know the reason, he smiles. Noticing the drink in her had, Hawkeye draws Margaret closer to him.   
"Unlike some medical professionals, I don't think you should be drinking that now," He whispers. Smirking, Margaret replies, "I haven't been drinking. I got this for you."  
Returning her smirk, the surgeon jokes, "Thank- you, Nurse. Don't mind if I do! How much of your tent did you give up for this?"  
Coy, Margaret replies, "Most of it. The whole camp was ransacked of all its red belongings. You may have to help me take them back later."  
"Don't mind if I do," Hawkeye teases as they edge closest to the back of the tent and out the door.   
"I don't have anywhere else to go," Margaret tells Hawkeye as they lay on her cot and listen to the sounds of people stumbling back to their tents later that night.  
"Go to my house. It's about as far away from California as you can get," Hawkeye jokes. Margaret looks up and sees the seriousness in her friend's eyes even if what he says is a joke. Scared, the nurse disentangles herself from the man beside her, grabs her toiletries, and heads to the showers. As she takes solace in the showers alone, the nurse goes over Hawkeye's joke. He knows what he is asking, and it terrifies her. She has just decided on a divorce, but know she and Donald have been informally seperated since the Dear Darlene letter months ago. Then, with Donald's reassignment to California, she is in no way telling him about her child. Her thoughts continue until she goes back to her tent. Not seeing Hawkeye when she gets back, the nurse sits on her cot and cries herself to sleep too emotional to think logically.  
Neither addresses the topic of her living with him until Margaret finds Hawkeye alone in the scrub room after an emergency surgery she helps him on a few days later.  
"I can't get married until the divorce is final," The nurse remarks jumping into the topic. Hawkeye looks up at her in confusion. Remembering their conversation after the party, he nods in understanding. They are silent again until Margaret jokes, "This child may be a year old by the time they even get to that point with the way the army works."   
He wants to laugh, but is too tired.  
"Well, then tell everyone back home that we're married, and then we'll have a more formal wedding once I get back," Hawkeye explains as he throws his scrubs in a hamper. Margaret watches him a moment as she thinks over the arrangement carefully. By the time she has her scrubs off, she agrees. They stare at each other a moment trying to comprehend who they are officially binding themselves to. Finally, Margaret breaks the silence.  
"I applied for my resignation," The nurse whispers barely believing the news herself. "I had to tell the Colonel about the pregnancy, but he said he'd keep it out of the final report. Do you mind, once this child is born that I list you as the father?"  
Shocked, Hawkeye thinks about the implication, but ecstatically answers, "No! List me! Enlist me! Do whatever you want to do! I can't believe I just got a wife and a kid in the span of a few minutes. I should go to peace talks more often."  
Frowning, Margaret asks, "Please don't. I'd like you to stay alive."   
"I'll try my best," He smirks


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as they scrub off their hands from surgery Margaret finds Hawkeye leading her toward Father Mulcahey's tent. Knowing it is the middle of the night, Margaret whispers, "What are you doing?"  
"Getting an unofficial marriage from a priest."  
"It's the middle of the night! We can't just lie to the Father!" Margaret argues as she tries to think up a plausible divorce story.  
"No, but I'd like his blessing," Hawkeye replies. Eyes wide, the nurse states, "You can't just get Father Mulcahey's blessing! This isn't like turning something kosher."  
"You're Jewish?" The surgeon questions confused. Shaking her head, Margaret answers, "No. My cousin is. I went to his bar mitzvah a few years ago."  
Stumped by her response, Hawkeye clarifies, "You are Jewish?"  
"No," The blonde states. "My aunt got married again after her first husband died, and they had- Hawkeye!"  
"Just teasing," He grins before yawning. Taking her chance, Margaret tells Hawkeye that they should check on their patient and go to bed. Yawning again, Hawkeye agrees before trudging off to post op.  
The next week, Margaret and Hawkeye begin to build a better relationship. Slipping into his now girlfriend's tent, Hawkeye finds her hard at work at her desk.   
"Hard at work or hardly working?" Hawkeye questions as he reclines on the cot.  
"I'm coming up with a new plan for my nurses during surgery," The blonde explains as she erases something on her paper. Hawkeye studies his girlfriend. A little afraid of his next comment, the surgeon decides to brave the waters asking, "Are you sure you should be working this hard?"  
"I have to if I'm leaving. Besides, my replacement needs to know how I run everything."  
Hawkeye groans asking, "Can't you appoint a new head nurse?"  
Margaret puts down her pencil and looks up at her boyfriend.  
"No. Colonel Potter put out a call for one. I'm supposed to train her before I leave."  
Sitting up on the bed, Hawkeye asks, "Margaret, how do you feel about getting married?"  
Staring at him in shock, Margaret asks, "Here?"  
"Yeah. That way we wouldn't really be lying when you go home," Hawkeye remarks. He watches his girlfriend's face fall.  
"I can't," She confesses. "I don't want to remarry in a war zone."  
Her words hit him strongly and he understands what he is asking and promptly apologizes.   
"We'll get married back at home."  
"I'd rather not get married while I'm pregnant, anyway," Margaret replies as she takes a good look around the tent she calls home for almost two years now. Suddenly she laughs.  
"What?" Hawkeye questions eager to know the joke. The blonde shakes her head, but easily replies, "I can't believe I've ended up like Marlene. Pregnant and kicked out."  
Motioning her to him, Hawkeye reassures, "Your record won't state that. Just that you resigned."  
Margaret goes toward her boyfriend and lets him hold her as she cries against her will. Noticing her tears, Hawkeye hugs Margaret closer.  
"Your child is making me emotional," Margaret complains. He smiles at her and soon asks, "Can I tell Beej now?"  
Smiling, the nurse agrees and shoos her boyfriend away.  
"B.J., I have something to tell you," Hawkeye tells his friend when he enters their tent. Thankfully Charles is off reading in the desolate Officer's Club.   
"You got Margaret pregnant," B.J. jokes. When there is no answer, B.J. asks, "Did you?"  
Sighing, Hawkeye replies, "Yes, but that's not what I have to tell you."  
"Tell me! What is it?" B.J. asks wondering what can be crazier than his two friends having a kid together. The Chief Surgeon gathers his thoughts. He gets permission from Margaret to tell B.J. about the relationship, but is still unsure of how.  
"Umm, Margaret is leaving as soon as her resignation goes through."  
"She's leaving!"  
"Well, she has to according to the army," Hawkeye replies. The friends pause a moment before Hawkeye exclaims, "I'm going to be a dad!"  
Clapping his friend on the back, B.J. congratulates him.  
"Welcome to the club," B.J. states just as wounded enter the compound.  
Working with Margaret in OR, B.J. tells her as he operates, "Hawk told me about you two. Congratulations."  
Margaret smiles warmly behind her mask and thanks her friend.   
Unluckily for Margaret, she is trapped at the 4077 for another month while her resignation is handled. During a particulary boring day the nurse practically runs to The Swamp with papers in her hand. Sitting on a sleeping Hawkeye's bed, Margaret wakes him up. Seeing Margaret, Hawkeye quickly sits up and asks, "What is it? Are you okay?"  
Nodding, the woman replies, "Fine! I just got the divorce papers approved! I'm free!"  
Hugging his friend, Hawkeye answers, "That's great, Margaret!"  
"What's great?" B.J. asks coming into The Swamp. Holding up the divorce papers, Margaret exclaims, "I'm officially divorced! Donald signed the papers!"  
Well aware of the new couple's predicament, B.J. asks, "Does this mean you can get married here?"  
Margaret and Hawkeye exchange glances. Neither of them is even thinking of getting married yet. As they weigh their options, B.J. grabs Father Mulcahey. As the pair discuss marriage, they find a confused priest enter The Swamp. Noticing his friends' expressions are similar to the Father's, B.J. explains that he wants to have at least one good thing happen during the war.  
"Can you marry someone in a tent?" Hawkeye half jokes.  
"Why not? What do you say Father?" B.J. questions as Margaret explains to Father Mulcahey, "My divorce papers went through."  
"And who are you looking at marrying, My Dear?" Mulcahey questions. Noticing Hawkeye raise his hand, the priest's eyes grow wide in shock.   
"Why is that so hard to believe?" Hawkeye questions. All eyes stare at him as B.J. asks, "Have you met you? Hawkeye the womanizer?"  
"Yeah, but that was months ago," The Chief Surgeon protests.  
"Literally," Margaret mumbles. However, knowing Father Mulcahey needs answers, Margaret adds, "We'd just like to get married before I leave. I turned in my resignation papers about a month ago, and I'll hopefully be going to Maine soon."  
"Leaving? Margaret, I know that the divorce is still new, but you don't have to leave the army," Father Mulchahey councils. Shaking her head, Margaret explains, "It's not that, Father."  
"The Army frowns on pregnant women serving in their units," Hawkeye supplies as his girlfriend glares at him. However, she has to agree. Being five months pregnant, she is surprised she can still hide her condition. She chalks some of it up to the camp's food.  
"Pregnant! That's wonderful, Margaret. Not quite expected, but wonderful!" Mulcahey exclaims as Hawkeye happily interjects, "That's what I told her months ago."  
Now one of the confused party, B.J. questions how far along the blonde is. Sheepishly, she supplies five months.  
"You might as well have the kid here!" B.J. jokes before counting back and giving Hawkeye a sly smile. Admonishing them, Margaret turns to the priest.  
"Will you at least give us your blessing?" The nurse questions. Smiling, Father Mulcahey happily blesses their union before asking them to see him before Margaret leaves. The next day she gets her orders. Having less than twelve hours to get her things together, Hawkeye and Margaret lie on her cot.  
"Think I should steal Charles' record player so our kid can have my voice to listen to? I'll only read it the dirtiest parts of the magazines," Hawkeye teases as he holds Margaret closer. Used to his wisecracks, Margaret simply rolls her eyes. She is keen on having their child hear his voice though. There is no telling how long the war will end. Telling him so, Margaret asks, "But read something meaningful? Besides, how would you feel reading a daughter dirty magazines?"  
She can feel his breath stop for a moment and is unable to stifle a laugh.  
"You won't be laughing when the Father marries us," Hawkeye remarks as he looks at his watch, "in the next twenty minutes."  
Springing from the bed, Margaret quickly goes to her dressing table where only her cosmetics and hairbrush sit. Brushing her hair out, Margaret tries not to listen to how often Hawkeye tells her she looks fine. Shaking her head, Margaret replies, "However I do my hair now is how I'll want to have it when I leave. Do you mind taking my dresses from my standing locker and setting them on the bed?"  
Hawkeye does as he is told, and instantly decides on the blue sleevless dress with the small white flower on them. Holding it up, Hawkeye asks her opinion adding, "It brings out your eyes."  
Pinching her cheeks, Margaret replies"It doesn't fit anymore, and the waist line is not high enough."  
"Not high enough?" Hawkeye questions. Nodding, Margaret answers, "I'm trying to hide my stomach, not show it off."   
Hawkeye watches his girlfriend go over to the only five dresses she owns and studies each one. Soon, she dismisses all of them.   
"I can't wear these. People will talk."  
"You only have twelve hours left, you might as well tell some of the staff that you're pregnant. How have you been hiding our kid anyway."  
"My lab coat," Margaret replies well aware she is probably not fooling anyone anymore. Putting on her loosest army issued outfit, the nurse and surgeon head off to Father Mulcahey's tent. Less than half an hour later, the couple is married.  
"Feel any different?" Hawkeye asks once they leave the tent. Neither has a ring, but Hawkeye makes sure his father gives Margaret his mother's ring once she gets to Maine. Margaret shakes her head. She does not feel the same emotions as with Donald, but is not sure if Donald is really a basis for a happy marriage. Instead of answering her new husband audibly, Margaret asks, "Do you feel different?"  
Before Hawkeye can answer, he and his new wife are interrupted by Nurse Kelley who calls for Margaret.  
"Major, come inside our tent. We have going away gifts for you!"   
Sharing a glance with Hawkeye, Margaret heads toward the nurses tent. Just last week she tells them she is leaving, but does not expect to have a going away party. Entering the nurse's tent, Margaret sees it covered in toilet paper streamers drawn with rattles, bottles, and other baby related items.  
"We knew," Nurse Able smirks as Margaret admires the decorations. Soon, the women are caught up in gushing over a baby and passing Margaret presents.  
"Thank- you," The blonde whispers as she studies the baby clothes she holds in her hand. The knit is warm, and she figures her baby will at least be warm on its way back home from the hospital. Eyes filling with tears, Margaret thanks each one of her nurses adding, "I wish I could've known all of you better. That's one of the things I regret most."  
"We're better for it, Ma'am," One of the nurses remarks adding, "How else would we be able to run the camp while we wait for your replacement?"  
The next seven hours, Margaret spends her time packing and reminiscing. By the time she finishes everything but her carry on and make- up case, she hears a knock on her door.  
"Come in!" She calls. Hawkeye eagerly enters the tent and puts his arms around his wife.   
"I thought we could have a small honeymoon here in your tent before you leave," The surgeon whispers in her ear. She smiles against him and is inclined to agree.  
A couple hours later, Margaret and Hawkeye wake up to a knock on her tent door.   
"Major, your jeep is here!" Klinger calls out. Reluctantly, Margaret leaves her husband's embrace to get dressed telling Klinger she will be ready in about ten minutes. Hawkeye dresses quickly and helps Margaret with the rest of her belongings.   
"I'll make up for this honeymoon when I get home," Hawkeye whispers before he and his wife exit the tent. The pair is greeted by their friends and Margaret soon finds herself hugging everyone and making promises to visit, especially with Peg after the baby's born.  
Before entering the jeep, the former head nurse stops at Hawkeye. They both have too much they want to say, but without their present company. Instead, Hawkeye gives her a mock salute.  
"Good- bye, Major Baby," He grins before picking up his wife and kissing her deeply. Most of the camp whistles or laughs.  
"I love you," Hawkeye whispers for only her to hear. She smiles at him.  
"I love you, too. Don't forget to write me when you write your dad," Margaret manages to say before the jeep honks. Waving to everyone, B.J. helps Margaret into the jeep where she promptly turns and waves until she leaves the camp. Officially away from her home for the last two years, Margaret lightly places her hand on her stomach as she wonders what Maine will have in store for her.


End file.
